The Importance of a Parenting Plan
Divorce or separation is one of the biggest loss events in life and, not surprisingly, the first two years can be the most emotionally and financially trying. Understanding how to navigate this delicate transition in a mutually kind, compassionate way is essential, as it impacts your success and wellbeing moving forward, as well as the wellbeing of your family and your community of friends.
Parental decisions made during a separation have long-lasting effects on the children – for many years, and often over a lifetime. Having had first-hand experience making these sorts of decisions, my message to separating parents is this: Regardless of your own emotional state, it is essential to put your children's needs first when making decisions related to separation, divorce, and effective co-parenting!
Research conducted in a 2015 study (“Experiences of Separated Parents” by R. Kaspiew, R. Carson, et al) shows that:
The younger the children at the time of the separation, the greater is the short-term impact.
Most children experience initial confusion and dissatisfaction with the arrangements put in place regarding time with each parent during school terms and holidays.
Some children experience intense loyalty conflicts and concern for being fair to both parents.
Co-parenting in the presence of continuing, intense conflict appears to be more harmful than no contact. Ongoing conflict between separated parents can affect the children’s emotional, intellectual, physical, and educational development.
Taking proactive steps toward a child-centred separation and divorce can dramatically reduce the negative impact of a separation on all members of the family.
One of the most effective tools to help families preserve a respectful post-separation relationship is the creation of a mutually agreed Parenting Plan.
A comprehensive Parenting Plan greatly assists parents in safeguarding the wellbeing of the children, co-parent more effectively, and avoid serious mistakes during and long after the separation and divorce has occurred.
Depending on the level of conflict between parents, a Parenting Plan is agreed upon, via direct conversation, or by mediation.
What is a Parenting Plan?
In Australia, a Parenting Plan is a voluntary agreement that covers the practical considerations of the children’s lives and the day-to-day responsibilities of each parent, such as living expenses, time-spending or visitation arrangements, special events, travel, etc. It also includes information on how the parents will communicate and consult on important issues in their children’s lives, and what they will do if there is conflict over the children. It can also include details on child support arrangements however these, while helpful, are not legally binding.
The intent of a Parenting Plan is to give families security, boundaries, and the structure of a family routine. If you are looking for more guidance on parenting after separation, Simple Separation highly recommends The Divorce Centre for a Parenting after Separation program.
Whatever the current state of the relationship between you and your former partner, changes in circumstances can create new tensions (e.g.: introduction of a new partner). Children also change developmentally, so having a plan in place that deals with all kinds of scenarios, and is flexible, will be an invaluable resource and a powerful tool for parents.
Once details of an arrangement have been comprehensively covered, it is highly recommended to make your Parenting Plan legally binding by way of Parenting Consent Orders. This is particularly important when there is a power imbalance in the relationship, or there is potential for conflict.
At Simple Separation we work with you and your ex-partner to develop a parenting plan that will be in the best interests of your children for now and into the future.
Christina Salvo, is the founder and CEO of Simple Separation a ‘child-focused’ online divorce settlement service. To find out how Simple Separation can assist you with parenting agreements, visit Simple Separation by clicking here.
Simple Separation is a complete Mediation and Legal information service that assist couples to legally finalise their separation from start to finish online. All legal services are provided by our preferred panel of the best independent Family Lawyers, Estate Planning Lawyers and Conveyancers who share the same philosophy - to separate simply, fairly and respectfully.